Boys and Girls

This is my daughter. She will be three in November, and here she models what every up and coming preschooler is wearing this season. An electric blue and pink princess dress over top of a light blue skirt to a different princess outfit, paired with a plaid visor and oversized glasses. Because you have to be prepared in case the paparazzi takes your photo while you are walking your baby.

Johnny has never been the kind of kid who cared much about his clothes. We had various hats when he was younger, but he mostly used them to transport blocks or trucks.

Maureen, on the other hand, loves dress up clothes. She loves hats, she loves purses, she loves necklaces and bracelets and headbands and shoes. She frequently vetoes pants or shorts in favor of dresses or skirts, and she's all about the pink. My mom recently tried to get her to use the potty by promising her a new purse, and while she didn't go for it, it gave me an idea. Instead of the chocolate we used as a bribe reward when her brother was potty training, I'll entice her with accessories.

I'm sort of glad I ended up with a girly girl. It's fun to do cute stuff with her hair and dress her in frilly clothes and listen to her mother her dolls. It makes a nice change from the constant truck noises and banging and poop references that I get from her brother.

Still, sometimes I wonder how much of her nature comes from her genes and how much is introduced and encouraged by those around her. The whole nature versus nurture thing. She is just so very different from her brother. I know I have made a conscious effort to treat them equally. That doesn't mean I treat them exactly the same. Maureen has always been a more sensitive and cautious child and that means I have to adjust my parenting for that difference, especially when it comes to discipline. And while Johnny has always been an outgoing and gregarious child, Maureen takes separation a little harder and is slower to warm up to strangers. (However, once she decides she is comfortable with you, prepare to have your ears talked off!) So while my approach to each child is different, they still get the treatment that is appropriate to their personalities. I'm not harder on Johnny just because he's a boy nor do I let Maureen slide because she's a girl.

On Monday at school, we talked about the importance of consistency when setting boundaries and establishing effective discipline with kids. Over and over, it came up that within families with more than one child, there was always one kid that makes it harder to be consistent. When siblings are raised with the same mother and father and the same rules and the same parenting philosophy, they still present as individuals with their own set of challenges. In other words, while some things may be easier with a second, third or more child, they'll still keep you guessing.

I've also read that while parents may make a conscious effort to not introduce or perpetuate gender stereotypes, we still do it unconsciously. We're all familiar with the knee-jerk reaction that comes when a boy wants to dress in pink; either because a person really believes that boys belong in blue, or because of a desire to shelter our sons from ridicule from others who believe that.

When he was still an only child, Johnny had plenty of stuffed animals because someone gave us a couple of them and they bred in the middle of the night and took over the house. Since I was not working many hours and had much more time to sit and play with him than I do now, I tried my darndest to make him play with them, but they mostly sat and gathered dust. With Maureen, not only does she play with them, but she nurtures them, pretends to feed them, bosses them about wearing hats in cold weather. My mom came home from Tennessee with Webkinz for both kids, and while Johnny has shown little interest in his stuffed dog, Maureen carries her cat everywhere, sleeps with it, pets it and includes it in her pretend play. (However, when I get around to doing the computer part with them, I suspect that the virtual world aspect will hold Johnny's attention much more than Maureen's. After all, you can't pet and cuddle a two dimensional image.)

One of the most interesting parts of having two kids is observing how they take the exact same toy and play with it in different ways. Both mine play with blocks. Separately, Johnny builds airplanes and bulldozers and Maureen builds beds for her dolls. Together, Maureen makes requests for bathroom furniture for her Curious George figure and it's Johnny who fashions a monkey sized toilet and a sink with moving faucets while Maureen hands him the pieces. Both mine play with trucks. Johnny makes the trucks plow imaginary fields and haul imaginary loads to imaginary roads. Maureen covers them up with blankets on the couch and tells me not to wake the trucks from naptime. Both kids play with the doll stroller, but while Maureen actually walks her dolls in it, Johnny fills it with Legos and uses it as a dump truck. I wonder if it's possible to "make" Johnny cradle a doll or if he's just not wired that way. I wonder if she'd never been introduced to dolls and strollers and hats and pretend bottles, if Maureen would actually use the trucks to do truck things. I'll probably never know, but always, I wonder.

What do you think? How much of it is nature and how much is nurture?

The Monarchs Are Migrating

A couple of years ago, my husband came home from Lowe's with a stick in a bucket and said it was a butterfly bush. It was the end of the season and he got it for so cheap, he practically stole it. After he planted it that first year, it grew a little bit and flowered a little bit and attracted a couple of butterflies, then winter came and it went back to being a stick.

The following year, it was bigger and attracted more butterflies.

This year, the thing is enormous. It's way over my head and I'm not a short person. It's so wide that it's been cut back twice since early summer because it was blocking access to the rest of the yard. And in the past few days, it has been positively loaded with monarch butterflies. Yesterday, I counted fifteen orange and black specimens clinging to the purple flowers, and at least 4 more dancing and wheeling in the air above.

We were even able to gingerly pluck one from it's perch and let it sit on a finger instead. Up close, the wings of a butterfly are a tangible miracle.

This bush has been practically maintenance free, save whacking off some branches every once in awhile. The only time it gets watered is when it rains and it has grown strong and true with no help from us. If you're looking for an easy, colorful addition to your garden, look no further. You need a butterfly bush.

Voting Day

Last week, I was nominated for a Mobbie, a blog award through the Baltimore Sun. You can vote daily, so be sure to click through and vote for me!

My Problem With The People Of Walmart Website

Some years ago, when I was still watching American Idol, a skinny, red-haired, bespectacled Clay Aiken stepped in front of the judges and I immediately thought he was going to be another of the terrible singers that the show likes to poke fun at. So when he opened his mouth and an amazing voice came out, I was surprised and immediately reminded that you can't judge someone based on what they look like.

Since then, I've stopped watching most comedians, stopped reading pop culture magazines, and stopped visiting celebrity websites because I'm uncomfortable and dismayed by the persistent and growing school of thought from these sources that your outward appearance dictates what sort of person you are on the inside.

Last year, I watched an episode of Dateline, about a high school boy who was a victim of constant bullying. As a parent, and as a human being, I was horrified to learn that the boy's tormentors created a page on Facebook specifically to taunt him. They posted pictures of him, spread rumors, and invited others to ridicule his face, his hair, his clothes, his body. It was difficult to watch.

This was an isolated case. Most schools have policies against such activities, and will even expel those caught cyber-bullying other students. Even so, most people I know, including myself, have been victims of bullying in some form or another. While many people will defend the actions of high school students, saying that kids will be kids, most others will label it as unacceptable. And at some point, one would hope that those kids would grow up into decent adults.

So this past week, I unhappily learned that some of those kids apparently never grew up. If it's unacceptable for teenagers to ridicule their classmates on the Internet, why is it okay for grown men and women to not only do the same thing, but be encouraged to do so?

If you've been on Facebook or Twitter recently, you've probably been directed to the People of Walmart website. If not, and you'd like to see it, Google it, because I'm not linking to it. In a nutshell, the people who run the website publish photos of "Wal-creatures," along with their idea of clever commentary. Most of the people in the photos have unusual hair, or are very overweight, or are dressed in clothes not seen since the 1980's. Most appear to have no clue that their picture was taken, and most are probably unaware that they are now being made fun of on the Internet.

Apparently, I'm in the minority in my disapproval of the website, so here is why I have a problem with it.

Look, I get it. I've been to Walmart. I detest going to Walmart. The place is always a zoo, and you will see all manner of people shopping there. I've seen people dressed in clothing inappropriate for their body type. I've seen filthy dirty people and people who smell terrible. I've seen very overweight and very underweight people. I've seen people with rotten kids, and people who are just plain weird. I've seen people in evening dress and people in their pajamas. The largest person in the building always seems to be standing in front of whatever item I'm trying to reach, and the worst behaved kids always seem to follow me around and get under my feet. I get it, and I've had my share of unkind thoughts. We all do it, we're all human.

The difference is that I don't surreptitiously take pictures of the weird person or the smelly person and then post it online for other people's enjoyment. Underneath the weird clothes or the outdated hair, all those people are people with the same hearts beating in their chest and the same feelings that you and I have.

A couple of months ago, my 5 year old son was looking at the box for our 101 Dalmatians DVD and said, "That's Cruella. She's skinny." When I asked if he likes skinny ladies, he replied, "No. She looks like a stick." My first thought was that my kid has an appreciation for women with curves, but we also had a discussion on not judging people based on what they look like. I teach my children that it's not okay to make fun of people. Period. You don't belittle someone because they are skinny or fat, because they have bad hair or bad skin, or because their choice of clothing was unfortunate. You don't make a judgement on a person's character or intelligence or upbringing or place of residence based on what they look like on the outside. I won't tolerate it from my kids and I don't think others should tolerate it from adults, who should certainly know better.

Maybe I'm naive. Maybe the kinder, more compassionate world I envision for my children doesn't, and won't ever, exist. But I prefer to keep trying to raise kids who see how wrong a website such as the Walmart website is.

The whole thing reminds me very much of the outrage caused by Garrison Keillor's 2008 Memorial Day column. In, "The Roar of Hollow Patriotism," Keillor laments how his visit to an art museum in Washington, DC was disturbed by a motorcycle rally in tribute to the war dead. He groups the bikers as fat, ponytailed men who have contributed nothing more to the country than getting drunk and falling off their bikes in the midst of fumes. Hundreds of commenters were angry with Keillor's elitist portrayal of bikers, many of whom are veterans. Personally, I thought that Keillor missed the point that no one appointed him to decide what's the best way to celebrate Memorial Day, and that just because he preferred to look at paintings, doesn't mean his way is the best or only way.

I feel the same about the People of Walmart website. Who put those that run the site in charge of deciding what's acceptable or fashionable? While I would never dress in most of the outfits I saw on the site, for all I know, someone looked at me the last time I went to Walmart and thought, "Look at this freak. Who wears a dress to Walmart to buy cat food?" The point is, just because someone may dress differently than me, or do their hair differently than me, it doesn't mean that they are automatically uneducated or trailer trash or stupid or poor. It doesn't mean they are less of a person, or that they are worthy of being disparaged on the Internet by perfect strangers. Who put them in charge of deciding what is classy and what is not?

I've definitely gone to the store before when I didn't look my best. I've gone when I was deathly ill and just wanted to buy my Thera-flu and my ginger ale and get home so I could go back to dying in my own bed. So how would it be fair for someone to take a picture of me with a camera phone, then post it online for others to make fun of my disheveled hair or messy clothes or puffy eyes? How would you feel if you spotted your picture or the picture of someone you know and love on that website?

Bottom line, the people who run the website need to learn an important lesson. Being classy isn't about how you dress or what you drive or how you wear your hair, it's about accepting people for who they are, regardless of their outer appearance. Because while bad hair or bad skin or excess weight can be dealt with, being ugly on the inside is a lot harder to fix.

Blah Blah Blah

After being mostly absent for the past week, I thought that I should sit down and post something intriguing or heart wrenching or controversial. Or maybe a thoughtful and insightful look at the actions of that dumb ass in Georgia who slapped someone else's kid to make her shut up. Because, didn't you know, the best way to make a kid be quiet is to beat them. Seriously. *insert eye roll here* Or perhaps some ruminations on the waxing and waning of friendships and how someone cutting you out of their life with no warning and no explanation has the power to make a grown woman feel as sad and confused as high school did. But that's personal and sometimes personal stuff is just a little too personal and raw to go there.

It figures that I was nominated for a Mobbie last week and voting starts on Monday, and I got nuthin'. So if you're here from the Baltimore Sun, be sure to take a look at the Popular Posts in my sidebar, or check out my recent posts on Redshirting, Sibling Rivalry and making the decision to stop having kids.

In other news, yesterday Johnny had a friend come over after school and I learned that the only thing louder than a 5 year old boy is two little boys. And that while I can holler at my own kid to keep it down because his sister is sleeping, I can't holler at someone else's kid. Plus, I hope that Johnny was not that loud when he was across the street at this boy's house last week. Apparently, my life now revolves around Johnny's social life, because he informed me today that all the boys from his class are coming over next week and that I can't go to the gym because he needs to stay home and play with his friends.

Speaking of the gym, in college, I took a yoga class that was supposed to help the students relax and focus before finals and it was so boring, I nearly fell asleep. Since then, I've always said that I didn't like yoga. Recently, on a whim I signed up for a class called Tai Yogalates at the gym, which is a combination of Tai Chi, yoga and Pilates. The running and weight lifting has been going well, and I lost some weight and bought new pants in a smaller size, but my back still feels stiff and sore a lot, and one of the vets at work said there are yoga poses that can help with sciatic pain. Three classes into it, I not only feel more limber, but I am TOTALLY in love with yoga and that's pretty much all I talk about now. Plus, I discovered YogaJournal.com, which categorizes the poses according to therapeutic focus, anatomical focus, and even by which poses to avoid if you have an injury. We also pulled out our yoga cards for kids and Maureen is a natural! Of course, one day the kids decided to rename the poses. The Downward Facing Dog became the "poopy butt" and the Child Pose became the "someone tooted."

Dinner yesterday was meatball subs, and I made the meatballs with ground bison. My husband picked up the meat at Giant a few weeks ago and tossed it in the freezer, and I've been wanting to try it. Bison meat is leaner than cow meat and is supposed to be flavorful. So I was pleased that the meatballs turned out great AND that Maureen ate two of them, along with all her cheese and some of her green beans. She's been difficult about the veggies lately.

Speaking of vegetables, on Wednesday, Johnny asked if he could have faghettios for dinner and when I said yes, my mom looked at me strangely and took a step back, causing me to laugh and say, "Come on, mom, do you really think I'd let my kids eat real Spaghettios?" What Johnny was really asking for was Faux-ghettios. I bought some wheat pasta rings at Safeway, then topped them with sauce. The first time, it was a tomato-vegetable soup from V8, another time I used a can of tomato juice, and yet another time I used plain canned tomato sauce. They eat it with fresh Parmesan grated on top and they always ask for seconds. Since neither kid will eat tomatoes, this is a sneaky way for me to get some into them. Plus, it's cheaper and healthier than the real thing.

Last week, one of my cousins got married and my parents traveled to Tennessee for the wedding. Rudy came to stay with us for the week, and he is the nicest dog ever. However, he sheds like crazy and it's a good thing that I had a new vacuum ready to suck up all the hair that fell off him. (Plus, the new vacuum is not a Dyson. And I'm happy with that.) When I told two doctors at work, in two separate conversations, that I was telling my mom she couldn't bring Rudy over again until she changed his diet, they both had the same response and accurately guessed the brand dog food he was eating. (I'm not mentioning it here, because otherwise I'll get a cease and desist letter in the mail, guaranteed.)

Even though she gave me plenty of notice about the dog, I still forgot and told my husband it was okay to go ahead and make hotel reservations for a short trip to Cape May. So Rudy and Jameson ended up boarding for a couple of days while the kids stayed with my inlaws. I knew the kids would be fine, but I felt horribly guilty about walking out of the hospital and leaving Rudy behind, because he looked so, so sad. Anyway, Cape May was nice, we checked out the Cape May Lighthouse and the wreck of a concrete ship from WWII, ate out a lot, and slept in. I went running along the promenade one night, and we came home via the Cape May-Lewes ferry, which was cool.

Part of the reason I slept in was because the thyroid medication I take is on indefinite backorder and at that point, I hadn't had any medication for several days and was totally beat. So I'm pretty upset with the FDA and the company that makes the medication, because now I have to go back to the inferior medication I was taking before until they get their stuff figured out. I'm seeing my doctor on Monday and plan on having a long discussion about my options. Hopefully, they will involve more yoga.

My mom brought the kids Webkinz from TN, and Maureen is obsessed with her cat and we haven't even done the computer part yet. She seems more and more grown up these days, especially in how creatively she plays, even though her feet have yet to grow beyond a size 6. Of course, all the cutest shoes seem to come in a size 7 and bigger. She's very independent, to the point where if I try to lift her into her carseat and buckle her in, she'll climb down, then get back in and buckle herself. I have seen her remove shoes that I put on her, then put them back on herself. I can't say she didn't warn me, she does tell me very clearly, "It's MY turn."

So that's it. Nothing exciting, insightful or provocative (except maybe the yoga part). I'd love to know what everyone else is up to!

Menu Plan: What Happened To Fall?

The weather last week was gorgeous. Sunny and mild, with that crispness to the air that makes me want to do creative things with pumpkins and start baking my own bread. So my latest menu plan was made with that weather in mind.

Of course, then it got all hot and muggy and stuff and we had to close the windows and put the AC back on. Ha, Ha, Mother Nature, very funny joke. Can we go back to fall now?

Anyway, I'm too busy (lazy) to redo my menu plan, so here's what we're eating anyway.

**Canadian Stew--Neither of my kids will eat onions, but they will eat leeks, which have a milder flavor. This hearty stew can be adapted to cook in the crockpot. I'll serve it with bread and salads.
**Slowcooker Macaroni and Cheese--Both kids have been super into pasta lately, so this was chosen with them in mind. "Kid food" isn't such a bad thing if it's made with real cheese and whole wheat pasta.
**Grilled Beer Chicken--In an effort to cut down unnecessary expenses (the economy, yanno), I've stopped buying cooking magazines off the news stand when I realized that most of the recipes in the magazines are available for free online. Dur. So I can skip looking at all the expensive stuff that Rachael Ray likes and just make this chicken from her recipe file. Potatoes and corn on the side.
**Chicken with Apple Gravy--An old favorite. Serve with rice, salad, and some kind of veggie.
**Linguine with Sundried Tomatoes--This recipe comes from the Eat Clean Cookbook and the best thing about it is that I already have everything that goes into it. Fresh bread to go with it.

What are you cooking up lately?

Breastfed Babies And The Growth Chart

I am not a large person. At 5 foot 8, I'm taller than average, but I've always been a healthy size and my weight gain during both my pregnancies was well within the range recommended by my doctor. My husband isn't a big guy either.

So it was no surprise to me that both kids seemed to follow those same growth trends. Both were the same size at birth, just over seven pounds. My daughter was an ounce heavier and an inch shorter. Both were healthy. I was happy. So why were so many others concerned with their size, or lack of it?

Among the many comments I heard from mostly strangers were:

"Is your pediatrician okay with you breastfeeding?" (Of course she was.)

"When are you going to stop breastfeeding?" (None of your business.)

"Wow, my baby is the same age and he's much bigger-was he premature?" (No, actually he was born on his due date. And hey, guess what, it's not a contest.)

"If you give her some formula, she'll grow more." (Actually, she's growing just fine, thanks.)

I got to be pretty good at brushing off the comments and ignoring the unwanted advice, but the more I looked into it, the more stories I heard about parents of breastfed babies being hassled by family members, strangers or even their own doctors about their lack of "adequate" weight gain, regardless of the size of the parents or the health of the child. Why, in the face of a childhood obesity epidemic, does bigger continue to equate with better? Why are growth charts considered to be the number one indication of a child's health, rather than just one tool of many to assess wellness?

Consider the following:

**Ounce for ounce, breast milk contains far more naturally occurring ingredients than cows milk-based formula does. According to Dr. Sears, when vitamins and minerals are added to formula to compensate, it makes it harder to digest. Breastfed babies generally need to eat more often because of the easier digestibility of breast milk.
**A 1992 study at UC Davis showed that breastfed babies tend to be leaner than formula fed babies. Specifically, while weight gain for each group was similar, the breastfed babies had a lower weight for length ratio.
**Many doctors in the USA are still using the charts from 1977, which are based on decades of measurements of actual children, most of whom were formula fed. The CDC updated the US growth charts in 2000, and these charts can be used to track the growth of exclusively breastfed infants, but don't take into account how breastfed babies tend to grow. In 2006, the WHO published growth charts that represent healthy breastfed babies, but many doctors don't use them.

While both my kids are at the bottom of the US growth charts, they score significantly higher on the WHO charts. In addition, while small, both mostly stayed on the same growth trajectory as they got older. While my son did have a milk protein allergy, removing any traces of milk from his diet fixed his symptoms. And two years later when my daughter was born and she grew in almost the exact same way her brother did, without a milk protein allergy to complicate or slow things down, I didn't worry. She was healthy, and was just growing the way her genes had programmed her to do.

Still, I wondered. Are breastfed babies doomed to be the shorter members of their classes, simply because of how their mother's choose to feed them? Out of curiosity, I posted a poll titled "How Large or Small Were Your Children On The Growth Chart?" 30 people voted and the results looked like this.

I breastfed and my babies were smaller than average. (5/30-16%)
I breastfed and my babies were larger than average. (11/30-36%)
I breastfed and my babies were average size. (8/30-26%)
I formula fed and my babies were smaller than average. (1/30-3%)
I formula fed and my babies were larger than average. (4/30-13%)
I formula fed and my babies were average size. (3/30-10%)

I didn't know what to expect from the poll, but the results show one thing candidly--babies come in all shapes, sizes and weights, regardless of how they are fed. Yes, both my children were little, but it wasn't because they were breastfed or because there was anything wrong with my breast milk.

Both kids are older now, and they remain small. My almost three year old is a twenty-five pound bundle of energy that eats anything that doesn't eat her first. At my son's recent five-year well child visit, his BMI categorized him as underweight, but his pediatrician isn't concerned. He did gain both weight and height over the past year, is rarely sick, is meeting or exceeding his milestones. He's just on the skinny side--just like his dad, his grandfather and other assorted male family members.

How about you? How were your breastfed babies sized, and did anyone hassle you about it?

**crossposted at API Speaks

Vote For Me!!

I was surprised and pleased to learn yesterday that one of my loyal readers nominated me for the "Mobbies," a blog contest through the Baltimore Sun for outstanding Maryland blogs. If you were the one who nominated me, thank you so much!

You can view the other nominees here and browse the categories. I am in the Family category. Voting starts September 28th at 8AM and runs through October 9th.

Vote for me, and thanks again to my nominator!!

And We're Off....First Day Of Preschool 2009

The first day of school last year was significant because it was Johnny's first day of preschool ever.

The first day of school for this year was today, and it was significant because it is the beginning of his last year as a preschooler before he heads off to kindergarten next year.

One day into it, I'm even more confident that we made the right decision when we decided to wait a year and start him in kindergarten at age 6. The difference between him and some of his classmates is clearly obvious. Since the program that he is in works with the children on a one-on-one basis to make sure each is receiving appropriate instruction, it doesn't matter where he is or where the other kids are, but it will matter more next year when he heads to K, and I feel like he'll be prepared.

He spent most of his morning anxious to go to school, and most of his afternoon anxious to go outside and ride his bike, so getting him to sit down and do his thank you notes from his party last week has been pretty much torture. But if you attended the party, be assured your note will come...eventually.

Here he is outside our house, griping and complaining because the sun was in his face.

And here he is heading into his classroom, much happier.

One of his classmates from last year is back, and he already knows the boy across the street who is also in the program. But apparently he made quite an impression on a female classmate because as soon as we were out the door to go home, I could hear her pestering her dad, "Ask about a playdate! Dad! Ask about a playdate!" Her father told her that she needs to talk to her mom first, but that didn't keep her from climbing halfway into my van and saying, "Johnny! Ask your mom about a playdate!"

Best wishes to my little boy for a successful school year!

Our Urban Pirates Adventure

On Saturday, we hit Fells Point to go on an Urban Pirates cruise. The mother of one of Johnny's classmates from school last year helped bring this pirate ship to Baltimore, so I was looking forward to the ride.

Upon boarding the Fearless, the crew transformed the kids (and some of the dads too) into pirates.

My girl pirate.

My husband, who should be sporting a bubble saying, "Argggghhhhh!" coming out of his mouth. I think he had more fun than the kids did.

Captain Bones, who advised the passengers to "not fall off the boat."

After a lesson on how to talk like a pirate, the kids learned how to tie knots.


Johnny stuck pretty close to his dad, because of that whole "fall off the boat" thing, but Maureen liked peering out at the passing boats.

After mastering the square knot, the kids used their new skills to tie up their parents! It was drizzling, hence my messy hair.

When a bad pirate appeared in a power boat, trying to steal the treasure on board the Fearless, the kids got to chase him away with the water cannons. This was my favorite part. What a riot!

But it was also the grossest part. See the strength of that stream? When the wind blew or one of the kids aimed wrong, the crew and passengers got wet with skunky, funky Harbor water. Phew!

That's the bad pirate right there. That thing in the middle of my picture is a sword belonging to one of the cast members.

After successfully chasing the bad pirate away, the good pirates celebrated with a fun round of Limbo.

After the cruise, we hit the Thames Street Park for some playtime and snack time.


A lovely family day in Fells Point!

Menu Plan: Back To Preschool

Johnny goes back to preschool tomorrow and Maureen starts in three weeks, and along with that comes the whirl of social activities and sports. It means the end of our mostly schedule free summer, and the end of doing what we want, when we want. It means it's time for me to get down to menu planning again, if I want to stay sane. Or sane-ish. Whatever.

I also spent a disgusting amount of money on groceries yesterday, so I'm hoping to really get back to making a lot of my own foods from scratch. Breads, granola bars, etc.

Here's what we'll be eating this week:

**Roast Chicken with Mashed Potatoes and Gravy--My MIL comes to babysit Maureen while I'm at school with Johnny, so I need a meal that will feed four+ adults plus the kids. I'll do the chicken in the crockpot to save effort, and we'll also have corn on the cob, sourdough bread and salads.
**Steak with Parsnip-Potato Mash--What I like best about this recipe is how quick it is. I can premake the potato-parsnip mash while Johnny is at school, and the steaks cook in the skillet in no time. I forgot to buy scallions to go in the potatoes, but I think I have some chives left in my herb bucket. Salad and another steamed veg on the side.
**Artichoke Chicken Packets--A new recipe from Healthy Cooking Magazine, this one uses refrigerated pizza dough to wrap up the contents. Salads and the last of the summer strawberries on the side.
**Parmesan Crusted Tilapia--I scored a big bag of frozen tilapia for cheap yesterday, and the oatmeal that makes up most of the coating on this fish makes it a budget meal. Homemade tartar sauce for dipping, plus couscous and steamed edamame.
**Turkey Meatball Subs--This Clean Eating recipe is not only delicious, but really fast and easy. Instead of ground turkey, I'm going to try it with the ground bison my husband bought a few weeks ago and froze. Some kind of veggie to go with it.

Today I also used my crockpot to make sauce out of homegrown tomatoes and peppers from my mom, I bought enough apples to make Crockpot Applesauce, and I'll save the carcass from the chicken to make Crockpot Stock. It's that time of year!

How about you? Have you found the dinner routine hard to return to now that school is back in session? What are you eating this week?

Easier Said Than Done: Six Pieces Of Breastfeeding Advice That Don't Work

When my first child was only a few weeks old, I took him to the store with me. While we were there, he needed to eat. Since I was a brand new mom, still figuring out breastfeeding, I found a deserted bench in a deserted corner of the store and settled down to feed him. I was still figuring out the blanket thing, plus didn't want anyone to see my mushy postpartum tummy, and was also at the point where I still needed to look at the latch to make sure it was right.

Just as I was getting ready to lift my shirt, a man appeared from nowhere and stood there looking at me. I was like, “Is he staring at me? Waiting for someone? What the hell, I went to all this effort to find a spot with no one around and now he’s going to stare?” Finally, I said to hell with it, pulled up my shirt and fed my baby and when I looked again, the guy was gone. So who knows, maybe he was lost or maybe he just wanted to see a breast, but if he had complained, I would have been really angry. If I went to all that effort to be discreet and then some guy shows up and happens to see my boob because he’s STARING at me and it makes him uncomfortable, then tough crap.

In the past few weeks, there have been several instances in which mothers were asked to stop breastfeeding their babies in public and leave. In some cases, the mothers were covered, in at least one other, the mother was not. Not that it really matters, because a woman's right to breastfeed her baby, covered or not, is protected by law. But in the following days, I kept seeing comments on blog posts and updates on Twitter with the sort of advice that falls into the "easier said than done" category. Kind of like when a person who has always been thin tells someone overweight that all they need to do is "eat less." A lot of the misguided or just plain wrong advice seems to come from men, or people who don't have children or never breastfed.

The following list are some of the things I read, followed by why it's not that simple.

**The mom should cover up with a blanket--Do you eat with a blanket over your head? No? Why not? Because it's hot or uncomfortable or suffocating? Right. So a baby should be hot or uncomfortable or suffocate though. Plus, you know what? Some babies WON'T eat with a blanket over their head. Once both mine got to be old enough to move around and grab things, that blanket came flying off. And if the blanket comes flying off and the baby is thrashing around and the mom is frantically trying to recover herself, you know what happens? People notice and they stare. If you stare, you might get a glimpse of breast. If it bothers you, avert your eyes.

**The mom should excuse herself and go feed the baby in the car/restroom/nursing room--Do you eat your meals where people poop? No? Why not? Because it's gross or because public restrooms usually smell disgusting? Right. But a baby should totally eat a meal in those conditions. Have you ever been inside one of those nursing rooms? I have, and some of them are just as bad as the public restrooms. Even if my baby didn't object, I have a sensitive nose and I can't stand to sit in a small, stuffy room that smells of eau de dirty diaper. As for the car thing, maybe some moms live in a place where it's safe to sit alone in a car, but some of us don't. Especially at night. Plus, when it's really hot or really cold, I'd rather not waste gas by running the engine so we don't either freeze or fry.

**The mom should pump at home and bring a bottle to feed with in public--Have you ever tried to use a breast pump? No? If you did, you'd know that it isn't always easy. Pumping is less efficient than nursing a baby and can lead to milk supply problems. Plus, pumps are expensive to rent or buy. While milk from the "tap" is always fresh and warm, pumped milk needs to be kept cold and can spoil. Plus, many babies refuse to take a bottle at all.

**The mom should just feed formula when away from home--Even if a breastfeeding mom was okay with using formula (some are and some aren't), some babies can't tolerate it. Then there is the cost. And the refusal of bottle thing I mentioned before. Plus, do you know what can happen if a mom skips a breastfeeding session in favor of a bottle? She might spring a leak. Which is totally convenient and non-embarrassing.

**The mom should feed the baby before leaving the house--Right. Because babies are totally predictable. Ever heard of cluster feeding? Or growth spurts? Both can make breastfed babies need to eat more frequently. Feeding schedules are for formula babies. A mother can breastfeed her baby at home before going out and still need to feed out in public. Plus, what happens if the mom has the nerve to be out and about for more than a few hours? Can you believe it?

**The mom should have her baby on a schedule and know when the baby will need to eat next--See above. Plus, while schedules might work for older babies, younger babies pretty much eat sleep and poop when they feel like it, not when you want them to.

**The mom should just stay home until her baby is weaned--This is the best one yet. Stay home and don't subject the public to your insatiable need to show off your baby. The groceries will buy themselves and then drive themselves to your house. It's totally fine to take a year off from going to church. And don't worry, you won't die from a lack of human contact.

Sorry people, it's just not always that easy. So please, let us alone so we can feed our babies in peace and get back to what we were doing in the first place.

Do you have any to add and refute?

Ditch The Disposables 2009

Last week, my son turned five. We had a party for him, then I spent a large portion of my day after the party finding storage places for all the new toys and breaking down boxes. I was, as usual, dismayed by the large amount of packaging. I recycled as much of it as possible, but there was still a significant amount of plastic, wire, etc that had to go into the regular trash. Thinking of all that stuff in a landfill always makes me feel guilty after a holiday or birthday, so this was a great time to sign up for the Ditch the Disposables Challenge at Crunchy Domestic Goddess. For the months of September and October, Amy is challenging readers to stop using disposable products, such as paper towels (or for the very brave, toilet paper) in favor of a reusable, environmentally-friendly choice.

I confess I started doing this in a small fashion a couple of months ago, when I sprayed down the mirrors and glass in my bathroom, then went to grab some paper towels, only to discover that we were fresh out. Instead, I used an old cloth diaper, and it worked fantastically! While I used disposable diapers for both kids, these cloth diapers were a baby gift and were always used as burp cloths, or when the kids were older, for wiping noses. I have far too many now, so most of them have been repurposed to become cleaning cloths. It works because they are washable and reusable, but also because it eliminates the need to go to the store and buy more paper towels. I'm pretty good at planning meals and shopping for at least a week at a time for foodstuffs, but I'm terrible at planning ahead when it comes to household items. We are perpetually running out of handsoap or dishwasher detergent or shampoo or lotion. If I can reduce the amount of stuff we actually need to buy, I can also reduce the amount of 4PM phone calls to my husband, asking him to stop for something on the way home that we must have now.

Since I already started the process of ditching the paper towels awhile ago and it seemed like cheating to make that my Ditch The Disposables choice, I also decided to see how we can reduce our dependence on paper napkins. I have two kids and they can be messy eaters. While we do have a pile of fancier cloth napkins, I wasn't inclined to use them because they ended up stained, or needed to be ironed to look nice. And you can ask my mom, I'm not big on ironing my kids' clothes, much less napkins! When I thought about it, I realized that we also don't have enough fancy cloth napkins to last for a week, and I was also disinclined (too lazy) to go to the store to buy more. Instead, I decided to repurpose a pile of unused receiving blankets that were languishing in a box under a bed. I tore each blanket into smaller squares (4 per blanket) and stored them in a basket that I unearthed from my messy, crowded basement, then plopped the basket on top of the fridge. Trust me, I won't be folding these repurposed blankets and placing them next to plates for my next dinner party, but they are perfectly suited to wiping hands covered in peanut butter or sopping up spilled milk. Plus, the generous size means the kids can use one "napkin" each instead of 2 or 3 paper napkins.

Finally, on Monday, while trying to sweep up cat hair from my wood floors and getting frustrated because it was flying everywhere, I went to grab a Swiffer cloth and discovered that we're out of those too. So rather than buying more (lazy again, and they are pricey!), I tore an old t-shirt of my husbands into a smaller piece, spritzed it with water, and used it to clean up the cat hair. Then I tossed the rag into the wash.

We're only a few days into it, but so far, so good. In the interest of keeping my inner germaphobe at bay, I made sure the kids know that the blanket scraps are only for eating with, and the cloth diapers are for cleaning with. Even if a rag has been washed, I'm not crazy about the idea of something that was used to wipe my toilet then wiping my face. So that no one gets confused, I'm storing the cleaning rags on a separate floor from the kitchen rags. I did catch myself reaching for paper towels today when wiping down my stove, but it was a matter of running up the steps to grab a rag and then back down. And since the roll of paper towels in the kitchen is the only one in the house, I'd like to save them for when I really need them. Because, again, I'd rather not go back to the store for more.

Interested in reducing your dependency on throw away products? You can sign up at Crunchy Domestic Goddess.

What do you think? Could you stop using a disposable product and which ones?

Fun With Birthday Cake

Last week, Johnny turned five, and over the weekend, we had parties for him.

The first party was a kid party, with some friends from the neighborhood and his preschool class from last year. Over the summer, we attended a church carnival at which there were several giant inflatable moonbounce-type things, and he went bananas over them. So for his party, we had it at Pump It Up, where we rented a room with four different inflatables. After a brief safety video, the kids got to jump and run around and get hot and sweaty for 90 minutes, then we had half an hour in the party room for cake and presents.

I have a lot of pictures from the kid party, but most of them have other people's kids in them and I'd rather not post them without permission. But I CAN post this picture of the cupcakes that I made.

After all this time, it still strikes me as hilarious that my city-raised kid is so obsessed with farms and tractors. So I made him these fun barnyard animal cupcakes.


I had to work the day before the party, and was too tired to mess with homemade cupcakes, so I used a box mix and storebought frosting, which I then tinted with food coloring. For the pigs, the noses are pink starburst candies, softened in the microwave for 5 seconds and shaped into a circle, and the nostrils are miniature chocolate chips. The eyes are regular chocolate chips, and the ears are made from non-sugared gum drops, rolled flat and shaped into ears.

The chick's eyes are peppermint Lifesavers with a chocolate chip in the hole, the nose is a yellow unsmushed gumdrop, and the feet are slices of orange gumdrop. The roosters have the same eyes, nose and feet as the chicks, but the frosting is white and the rooster comb is made from a red gum drop that was rolled flat and shaped.

After positioning the candy, I stored the cupcakes on plates in the refrigerator to harden the frosting. These were a lot of fun to make!

After the kid party, we had family members over to our house, where we had pizza and tons of food, and more cake and ice cream. My mom made this adorable John Deere cake.



She used a box mix too, but made her own frosting, and I have to say it was better than the stuff I used on the cupcakes.

Happy 5th Birthday to my Big Boy!

Five

Three days old.



1825 days old.



You continue to amaze us with your energy, your intelligence, your capacity to love, your pure specialness, with everything that makes you unique, every single day.

Happy fifth birthday, to our grown up boy!

Photos From Emerald Isle 2009

Last week, we traveled to North Carolina for a family vacation. We were really lucky with the weather and had an amazing time. Here are some photos.


Since he was a baby, Johnny has never wanted to get in the ocean. This time, he nervously followed his father (the dark dot in the water) down to the water to watch him swim.

On the beach, we were entertained by this little fellow, who came out of his hole and stared at us.

Maureen posing in the sand.

I know I'm biased because she's mine, but I think she looks so beautiful here.

Johnny finally overcame his fear of the water and got in.

And then he didn't want to come out.

Maureen was content to sit on the beach and cover every inch of her body with sand.

Some nights, we went back at sunset to walk around.

Both kids got a kick out of these sand crabs. Not only were they easy to catch and plentiful, but they have no pinchers too.


On Thursday, we traveled to nearby Beaufort, NC, to visit the historic part of town and have dinner.

We were also able to get a family picture in which no one is crying!


M and J, making faces outside the general store.

On the beach again at sunset, inspecting the many crab holes.

Silly girl!