The End Of Fertility

A couple of weeks ago, Justine wrote about coming to terms with an unexpected pregnancy at API Speaks.

I'm coming to terms too, but I'm not pregnant. Instead, I'm coming to terms with the fact that I won't be having any more babies.

There's nothing wrong with me, nothing wrong with my husband, nothing wrong with my fertility. We have two children, a boy and a girl, and we have decided that those two will be it.

Sometimes it's an easy choice to come to terms with. Like when we've spent an exhausting day with two cranky children and bedtime didn't go as planned and tempers are flaring and we're burnt out and the idea of one more kid is just too crazy.

Or when we packed up practically half the house for a four day trip to the beach and my husband surveyed the mound of sand toys and clothes and gear and food that needed to be packed into our minivan and commented, "Good thing we've only got two kids."

Or when costs for everything from gas to groceries to fees for preschool are soaring and we're constantly watching the bottom line to make sure we're not overextended financially. A third baby would mean we'd definitely have to move to a larger house, as the two kids we already have share a room, and there would be doctor's fees and food and clothes and everything else to pay for.

Other times, we wonder if we're making the right choice.

Like the rainy day when we spent the afternoon watching home videos and the babies in those films seemed so long gone.

Or when I see my brother and sister-in-law experience all those wonderful firsts with their one-year-old son, who is walking, starting to talk and learning and changing every day.

Or when I realize that in one short year, my oldest child will go off to full day kindergarten and I'll only have one child at home with me, and that in three short years, both of them will be in school full time and I'll need to make some decisions about what to do with myself.

When we weigh the pros and the cons, most often, we decide that our family feels complete with two kids and that adding more would upset the balance we've so carefully worked for. By stopping at two, we can fully focus our energies on nurturing and loving them and meeting their needs without feeling parental burnout, or sacrificing our marriage or our health.

And so, we're proceeding as if these two will be our only two, and that means that I have some personal feelings to wrestle with. While I'm happy with my two, it's a little sad to think that I'll never feel a baby move inside my belly again, never breastfeed a fiercely hungry newborn again, never witness first steps or hear first words again. I look at my breast pump, shoved way in the back of my closet, and wonder if I'm really ready to give it away or if we should hang onto the changing table just in case.

It's a process. The last time I babysat for my nephew, I dearly loved having him around, but while my almost five-year-old loved him, my two-year-old was decidedly jealous. Plus, the effort it took to get three kids into jackets and shoes and out the door was exhausting, and trying to feed all three of them at once meant I didn't get to eat at all.

But while my breast pump is still in my closet and I still have my maternity clothes, I gave away all the infant toys and passed along my daughter's highchair to my brother.

Perhaps the changing table will be next.

Introducing The Kraft Foods/Sam's Club Dinner Plan Program

As a busy mom to two young kids, one of the most time consuming parts of my life is planning, shopping for and cooking meals. It's important that we eat together as a family, and it's also imperative that most of those meals be healthy. If a recipe is easy and quick, that's an additional bonus.

Planning my meals in advance helps me streamline my day, but combing through my considerable collection of recipes, comparing store circulars and clipping coupons also takes up a chunk of my time every week, plus at least one trip to the store.

In the recent tough economy, a lot of families are also really watching the grocery expenses and trying to cut back on the food budget. It can be tough to reduce expenditures at the grocery store without making certain sacrifices healthwise.

The good news is that Sam's Club and Kraft Foods have partnered to make meal planning and saving money a little easier for busy families. With the Two Week meal plan, you shop once and come home with enough groceries to cook meals for a family for two weeks.

Over the next couple of weeks, I'll be trying out the Kraft Foods Two Week Dinner Planner and sharing my experiences with you. I'll also be giving away some fun prizes, so stay tuned!

WHAT TO DO:

1. If you're not already a Sam's Club member, use the store locator to find a location near you. Sam's Club Locator

2. Get the meals here. This download will provide you with recipes for all fourteen recipes and a complete shopping list to take to the store with you. Sam's Club members can also create a personalized cookbook by clicking on the link on this page.

3. Take a look at the shopping list provided, make any notes to personalize the menu for your family, then head out to shop!

TIPS AND TRICKS

Life in a small rowhome doesn't come with a lot of storage space, so we've never shopped at a discount club and I was way unprepared when it came time to shop for my Dinner Planner groceries. I knew I would be shopping in bulk, but I didn't know exactly HOW much bulk was involved. Finding space for everything required a massive rearrangement of my fridge, freezer and cabinets. It worked out in the end, because I used the opportunity to weed out odds and ends and refill the canisters I keep on my counter, and I also scrubbed out the inside of my refrigerator. Here are some tips to make it work for you.

**Clean out your fridge, freezer and cabinets ahead of time.

**Take bulk items out of the outer packaging to make storing it easier. I wasn't sure what to do with my three pack of frozen pizza, because the box was too wide to fit in the freezer, but once I took them out of the box, they fit fine. Just don't forget to save cooking instructions!

**Split up large meat purchases. I bought a 5 pound package of ground beef, but the recipes only require a pound at a time. Split the meat up, and freeze smaller portions. I use ziploc freezer bags for meat. Don't forget to buy a box if you don't already have them.

**Plan the meals using fresh ingredients first, to avoid spoilage.

**Don't forget that the shopping list includes everything that you will need, but that you are also shopping in BULK. While you'll only need a cup of baking mix for the Creamy Chicken Pot Pie, Bisquick comes in a huge box. If you'll never use it again, skip that purchase and consider a substitute. It's not saving you money if the product sits in the pantry and is never used.

**The shopping list is organized according to the floor plan of Sam's Club stores, so you'll be able to get all the items per category and then move on, saving you time.

Questions? Leave a comment!

I was one of five bloggers selected by Kraft Foods to work on the Kraft Foods and Sam’s Club Two Week Dinner Planner program. I have been compensated for my time commitment to the program which includes my trip to Sam’s Club, my interactions/experience with the two week dinner planner and my posts about my experience. I have also been compensated for the food purchased for the two week dinner planner. However, my opinions are entirely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive comments.

Summertime And The Living is Easy

This Is What Motivation Looks Like

Please note: This is not me and this is not my body. But this is my new bathing suit, and I'm serious about it.

We joined the Y back in April because exercising at home just wasn't working for me. In addition to wanting to be fitter and feel better, I also wanted to lose about ten pounds. Things have been going rather well, I've worked up to doing an hour of cardio 4 or 5 days a week plus weights when I don't have to rush to pick the kids up from childcare. I'm very pleased with the way my arms and shoulders and back are looking, and I've lost two pounds. Two pounds doesn't seem like a lot, but I have a theory about that. For one, I'm fairly certain that I'm not getting enough calories, and I'm working on that, but I'm actually finding it hard to eat more food. For another, I'm smack dab in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height, and I think it's harder to lose weight when you aren't overweight to begin with.

Anyway, the one thing that I'm not happy with is my midsection, so this bathing suit is my way of reminding myself to eat one Lifesaver instead of half a bag and to kick my workouts into high gear. It's either that or Lipo-Dissolve, and the first option doesn't involve needles and is way cheaper.

Besides, it's a cute suit and as I'm neither pregnant nor lactating, I figure it's about time.

Motivation--It's green and white and comes in two pieces.

Photo Hell

It strikes me as sort of funny that the day after I posted about a contest to win a session with a professional photographer who will come to you, I took my two children to the mall for a photo session at a chain studio.

I've been to this particular studio before and was happy with the results, and a relative gave us a gift card to the place for Christmas. Now that Maureen's surgery is over with and her eyes are healed and aligned, we headed over for another chance at the elusive photo of the kids together in which they are both smiling.

The last time taking pictures of Maureen was easy was when she was 9 months old. She's not smiling in any of her one year pictures, and the time after that, we came home with only pictures of Johnny because she wouldn't stop crying. At our last visit, in October, she was also not interested in being photographed, but we had a great photographer who worked with us to make Maureen more comfortable. She found some great props to interest her, and we got some really cute shots. So I headed to the mall today a little apprehensive, but feeling hopeful.

Silly me.

First of all, I carefully ironed Maureen's dress last night, then hung it somewhere visible so I wouldn't forget it, and where the cat couldn't shed on it. I got the kids up this morning and dressed them in another coordinating outfit, and we got out the door with a minimum of fuss. I only yelled once AND remembered to bring the dress.

I purposely scheduled our appointment for right when the store opened, so we wouldn't have to wait too much, but then they opened ten minutes late. At that point, Johnny was ready to vault over the railing to the first floor below, and Maureen kept pulling at her hair.

The store only had two employees working, and they schedule appointments every 15 minutes, which isn't nearly enough time to take, edit, choose, print and pay for photos without someone going insane.

Plus, the photographer we ended up with was patently uninterested in her job. We got one nice photo of the kids together before Maureen fell apart. As I held her and shushed her and she wailed, the photographer sat there like a lump on the floor. I suggested she take some single photos of Johnny while I tried to get Maureen to calm down. Then I had to keep stepping in to make suggestions for posing and to position Johnny, because she was unimaginative as well. I'm no professional, but even I know to not position a child so the dirty bottoms of his shoes are at the very front of the picture, and I wasn't paying good money for a picture of Johnny standing with his arms at his sides in front of a white background.

When Maureen's wailing turned into screaming, I announced we were done and took the kids off to the bathroom, where I proceeded to yell at Maureen for not cooperating. I was frustrated with her for not doing something as simple as smiling for the camera, but I was more frustrated with the photographer and I took out my anger on Maureen instead.

Did I mention photo sessions bring out the worst in me?

Then we waited forever to be shown our pictures and even more forever to have them printed and pay for them. As we sat and waited and waited and waited and waited and I tried to keep my kids from climbing the walls and knocking things over and shrieking, I watched as all the other parents tried to do the same thing. I have never seen so many grouchy parents and hyper kids in one place. I mentioned to one mom that I needed a drink and she agreed. (And then Johnny chimed in with, "We have juiceboxes, Mom." Not exactly what I had in mind.)

It should not be torture to have my kids photographed. It should not be so stressful. I should not have walked out of there needing a good scream. I should not have arrived home with a pounding headache and a sore jaw from clenching. And I won't be back. It's time to fork out the bucks and have a pro come to me instead, someone who knows what they are doing, who cares about what they are doing, who has a reputation to uphold instead of an eye on the clock.

Have you entered my giveaway for a photo session with Kate at Katushka Prints yet? Go enter, right now, and save yourself the headache.

Katushka Prints Photo Session Giveaway

For the first Christmas after my first child was born, my husband bought me a digital camera. After years of developing film and not knowing what to expect, and having the occasional roll of film lost, it was a pleasure to switch to digital. It's so nice being able to preview and edit photos, and I can't forget how great it is to be able to delete the shots where one of the kids has a finger up their nose or someone has been accidentally positioned so that it looks like a tree is growing from the top of their head.

Another child and four years later, we have thousands of photos burned to disk and it's fun to look back at them, but one thing is abundantly clear.

I am no photographer.

It's definitely nice to have pictures of the kids doing everyday things, and to capture important events like preschool field trips and holidays. But for good quality, flattering, frame-worthy photos, that's something I need to go to a professional for. I've had the kids at a chain portrait studio before and the pictures were great and the staff was great. But you can only get so many shots in the fifteen minutes they allot you, and for really unique photos, it's best to have a photographer come to you.

When a photographer comes to you, you are able to get unique photos in a location of your choosing, in a relaxed atmosphere without time limits. You could even hold your photo shoot outdoors and get some shots that you won't find in a photo studio.

I'm pleased to be able to offer one lucky reader such an opportunity.

Kate at Katushka Prints and I have teamed up, and one commenter will win a photo session with her.












In addition to photographing kids, Kate is also available for weddings and special occasions. Visit her website for details on pricing and packages.

To enter this giveaway, leave a comment below and tell me what sort of experience you have had with photographing your children. This contest will be open for one week and I will choose and notify a winner on Friday, June 26, 2009. Please note, I must have a valid email address to contact you! If you don't wish to leave your contact information in the comments section, feel free to email me at greatwallsofbaltimore (at) yahoo (dot) com, but you must also leave a comment. This contest is only open to residents in Central Maryland, Virginia and Washington, DC.




KATUSHKA PRINTS Photography GIVEAWAY
LUCKY WINNER WOULD RECEIVE:

**Photography session of up to 2 children (or parent and child) at a mutually agreed upon location of your choosing in the Maryland (Central), Northern Virginia or DC.
**At least 2 hours of Photographer's time......if we are getting some great shots, then we will keep going. :-)
**Photographs captured digitally with all Nikon equipment.
**Prints included - 1 8x10, 2 5x7 or 5x8s, and 15 4x6 pictures - chosen by you.
**25% coupon off your next booked photo session.
**If you are the lucky winner of this giveaway and want to have more than 2 people photographed during this session, there would be an additional charge of $25/per person.

Kate also sells prints of her landscape and scenery photographs. You can view them on her website.

If you aren't the lucky winner of this contest, you can still score a great deal, because Kate has offered to extend a 20% discount to all interested families. Just mention this website when you make your appointment.

Good luck!

EDITED 6/26/09: Congrats to Mary@Notbefore7! She's the lucky winner of ther Katushka Prints prize package. Mary is expecting her fourth child anyday now, and I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of her tiny new one with her older kids. Congratulations!

Honfest 2009

On Sunday, we attended Honfest, a yearly festival held in Hampden, that celebrates the Baltimore "Hon." The term is one of endearment used by Baltimore residents and is short for honey. The festival has grown from a tiny contest held behind Cafe Hon to a nationally recognized event that runs two days and sprawls across four city blocks. What does a Hon look like? Think big hair, spandex, blue eyeshadow, anything leopard print and a lot of friendliness.

Here are both kids at home, before we left. Johnny's eyes are closed, but you can see Maureen's entire outfit. The skirt and matching headband were made by my mom.


I love the look on her face.

A happier Maureen. The guitar is actually a cardboard fan that the Sun was handing out.

Maureen and I take a break.

John and Johnny outside the Moonbounce that was set up outside a church.

Maureen catches a ride.
The end of the day. I lost count of how many people stopped to comment on her hair.


We had a good time and it was fun to dress her up.

Happy Monday, everyone!

Tiny Talk Tuesday

It's been a funny week in our household, Tiny Talk wise.

Maureen is a really great sleeper and sometimes asks to be taken to nap. Apparently, over the weekend, she wasn't quite finished napping, because we heard her cry over the monitor, "No wake up!"
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Johnny helped me plant herbs out on our deck a few weeks ago, and the stuff we planted is starting to sprout. At dinner on Monday night, I told my husband the cilantro was looking good, and Johnny chimed in. "Yeah! And we're also growing some cap nip!" Hmmm...I wonder if Jameson will react to capnip quite the same way as catnip?
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Speaking of cats, the last time we ate dinner at John's parents house, Maureen kept stuffing cashews into her face. She would empty her bowl, then ask, "More cat-shoes?"
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Over the weekend, I signed both kids up for the Summer Reading program at the EPFL. To get us started, Johnny chose three new books to check out, one of which is a story about a boy in the Costa Rican jungle. The book features some Spanish phrases, and I had to get my husband to read the story. I took Latin in high school, and my Spanish pronunciation is horrible. I guess John's accent was better than mine, because Sunday morning, when Maureen was having a fit over what movie to watch, Johnny came up to her and asked, "Que pasta? What's going on?"
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Ever since the nonstop headlines with lead in children's toys and dangerous chemicals in products meant for kids, my husband has been really picky about where stuff comes from. If he sees "Made In China" printed on something, he scowls and mutters. Johnny has picked up on this, and when my mom bought him a new water bottle, he turned it over, scrutinized the label on the bottom and exclaimed, "Oh no, Busia, this is made to China!"

When Maureen had her eye surgery, Johnny spent the day with my mom, seeing the newest Pixar movie and going to McDonalds. The Happy Meal toy was a dinosaur skeleton. Last week, at lunch, Johnny walked the toy across the table and made it talk: "Hi! I'm made to China!"

For more Tiny Talk, visit Not Before 7.

Over Already

Last September, Johnny started preschool with one very big goal in mind. Since his birthday is one day past the cutoff for kindergarten, we had a decision to make. Either put him through testing to make sure he would be able to withstand the pressures of kindergarten just after turning five, or wait a year and start him at age 6. This year of preschool would give us our answer.

Within a couple of months, it was obvious to us that we would be waiting the extra year. More on that later.

That decision out of the way, we then proceeded to enjoy the rest of the school year unburdened, which was a treat because NEXT year's burden will be deciding what school to send him to kindergarten for.

Anyway, the year spend by, here it is June already, and school officially ended last week. The following day was the end of year picnic and graduation.

The picnic was held at Eastern Regional Park. There is a large playground there, and Maureen wanted me to take her picture every single time she went down the slide. If you look closely, you can see how red her eyes were, because this was just 4 days post-surgery.



Johnny riding his bike. He has really grown out of this one, and will be getting a 2-wheel bike soon. Our issue is just storage. We don't have a place to keep it that's easily accessible, unless we just leave it out in the yard all the time. Is it a terrible thing to keep your kid's bike out in the yard full time?

Johnny getting his certificate. Out of the 4's class of 12, nine kids are going on to kindergarten, one is moving to a full-time preschool program, and 2, including Johnny, will be back again next year. And maybe I'll get lucky and next year's group will choose black hats and I can reuse the cap and tassle for when Johnny really graduates.

When Maureen spotted the kids in their hats and tassles, she cried because she wanted a "pirate hat" too. Here she is modeling it after the ceremonies were over.


Happy Graduation and Welcome Summer!

The Graduate

(Technically, Johnny did not graduate from preschool, but it didn't seem fair for the two boys who are returning for one more year to be the only ones without a cap and tassle. Picnic photos to follow soon.)

Over Packer

Growing up, many family activities revolved around food. Not that all we did was sit around and eat, but whatever it was we were doing, there was guaranteed to be plenty of my mom's delicious cooking.

Like the time we went to the park for a picnic and had just gotten settled when a park ranger came by to let us know picnicking wasn't allowed in that area. It took a billion years to pack it all back up because my mom's idea of a "picnic" was a twelve course meal.

We camped a lot, and there was always lots of good, wholesome food that always tasted that much better after being outdoors all day long. And how could I forget the time my mom wrapped a roast in three layers of heavy duty aluminum foil and duct taped it to the manifold of the truck? She's fun like that.

Now that I have my own family, food usually figures plainly in our gatherings. There is nothing more satisfying than good conversation with good company and something good to eat.

Most of my fondest memories usually involve some sort of occasion with food, but there's something else that has developed from my childhood. Whenever I have to pack food or make food for something, I'm wracked by a terrible fear of somebody going hungry. My brother calls it "being Polish," but I would find it completely unacceptable for someone to come to an event at my house and go away not having eaten enough. Leftovers can be eaten, but what if there's not enough food?

One of my coworkers likes to joke about the size of my lunch bag, but she's also partially right. I use a reusable grocery bag to tote my food for my shift and it's always pretty heavy. You'd think that after all this time, I would realize that I'm not going to starve to death during an eight hour absence from home, or that every week I pack myself two seltzer waters, two string cheese, and two cereal bars, in addition to my main lunch and fruit, and every week I return home having eaten or drank exactly half of that. But what if one day is unusual and I'm especially hungry or especially thirsty? Do you see why I can't pack just one seltzer?

Here's another example--last fall, when packing for our annual trip to Ocean City, my husband watched me cramming item after item into grocery bags and asked, "Do you really think we need all those apples?" (His concern was partially because he didn't want to waste food, but also because he's the one who gets to pack the van with all the luggage.) In this case, it turned out I was right. Not only did we make a sizeable dent in all the food I packed, but I ended up going to the store for more fruit before the week was over.

Johnny's last day of preschool was today, and I spent a large part of my evening packing items for the graduation picnic tomorrow and thinking about what food to take. On my picnic menu are two different kinds of sandwiches, three different kinds of fruit, Goldfish crackers AND string cheese AND Kashi bars AND a whole brand new box of sugar cookies from Safeway, plus juice and water. It seems like a lot of food for a three hour picnic, and chances are the kids aren't going to want to stop playing long enough to eat, but the fear is still there. What if someone is hungry and there isn't enough food?

It will be interesting to see how much of that food comes home with us. In the meantime, I think I'll go stick another couple of bottles of seltzer into the bags.