A few months ago, my mom called me and asked me when I was planning on potty training Maureen. My answer was, "Meh. I don't know. I don't really feel like it now." And when I suggested that she could potty train her on the days she babysits, she wasn't really thrilled with that idea either.
The thing was, I was totally planning on using my "Do Nothing" method that worked so well for Johnny. At 18 months, he learned how to take his diaper off and was making messes, so we bought him a toddler potty. He thought it was the coolest thing ever...until he turned two and all bets were off. I tried pretending using the potty was fun, I tried bribing him, I tried cajoling, I even made up a potty song, but nothing worked. And at some point, I decided, "This is stupid," and that I had better things to do than hang out in the bathroom all day long.
So we just quit. Left it. Said nothing. Put the toddler potty away. And right about when he turned three, while on vacation, the pee thing clicked. (And he also overheard his grandmother saying she was going to get a milkshake on the boardwalk that night and asked her, "Did you poop in the potty, Grandmom?") A few months after that, the poop thing clicked and he's been completely potty trained since then.
Maureen is an independent sort of child, and we had made some half hearted suggestions about toilet learning, but she was not only not interested, but adamantly against it. She told me once, after I changed a messy diaper and I suggested she go in the potty next time, "Ewwwww! That's yucky!" And, to be honest, I'm not all that crazy about public restrooms, so it was just easier to change her diaper.
Finally, we gave her a deadline. When she balked at the bathroom, we said, "That's okay, you don't have to go, but when you turn three, the diapers need to go away." She accepted that. We added on the pacifier that she was taking at night. She accepted that. We added the one remaining sippy cup that is for the rare occasions when I let her have a drink of milk in her bed in the mornings while the house warms up. She accepted that.
Knowing that she didn't have to do all those things NOW seemed to go over really well with her, and having a deadline gave her some time to get used to the idea. If you asked her, "Maureen, what happens when you are three?" she would respond, "No diapers. No pacifiers. No sippy cups. I'll be a BIG girl!"
And then...she met her deadline early. All on her own.
About three weeks ago, at bedtime, she announced she needed to pee in the potty. She did, then when my husband tried to put a diaper on her for bedtime, she threw it at him and hollered that diapers are for babies. She is nowhere near ready to be diaper free overnight, so instead we compromised--if she let Daddy put the diaper on, she could get rid of the pacifiers, which are also for babies. Score!
Since that day, she had abandoned the toddler potty for the regular toilet (yay!), and can go, wipe herself well, get her pants back on and wash her hands completely unassisted.
So we're two for two using the "Do Nothing" Method. And trying to figure out what to do with the changing table. The remaining sippy cup is still in the kitchen, but I think I'm going to throw it out tomorrow.
After five years and two months of changing diapers, we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. And unlike a friend who says she was a little sad when her youngest potty trained, because it meant he wasn't a baby anymore, I'm not the slightest bit sad.
The thing was, I was totally planning on using my "Do Nothing" method that worked so well for Johnny. At 18 months, he learned how to take his diaper off and was making messes, so we bought him a toddler potty. He thought it was the coolest thing ever...until he turned two and all bets were off. I tried pretending using the potty was fun, I tried bribing him, I tried cajoling, I even made up a potty song, but nothing worked. And at some point, I decided, "This is stupid," and that I had better things to do than hang out in the bathroom all day long.
So we just quit. Left it. Said nothing. Put the toddler potty away. And right about when he turned three, while on vacation, the pee thing clicked. (And he also overheard his grandmother saying she was going to get a milkshake on the boardwalk that night and asked her, "Did you poop in the potty, Grandmom?") A few months after that, the poop thing clicked and he's been completely potty trained since then.
Maureen is an independent sort of child, and we had made some half hearted suggestions about toilet learning, but she was not only not interested, but adamantly against it. She told me once, after I changed a messy diaper and I suggested she go in the potty next time, "Ewwwww! That's yucky!" And, to be honest, I'm not all that crazy about public restrooms, so it was just easier to change her diaper.
Finally, we gave her a deadline. When she balked at the bathroom, we said, "That's okay, you don't have to go, but when you turn three, the diapers need to go away." She accepted that. We added on the pacifier that she was taking at night. She accepted that. We added the one remaining sippy cup that is for the rare occasions when I let her have a drink of milk in her bed in the mornings while the house warms up. She accepted that.
Knowing that she didn't have to do all those things NOW seemed to go over really well with her, and having a deadline gave her some time to get used to the idea. If you asked her, "Maureen, what happens when you are three?" she would respond, "No diapers. No pacifiers. No sippy cups. I'll be a BIG girl!"
And then...she met her deadline early. All on her own.
About three weeks ago, at bedtime, she announced she needed to pee in the potty. She did, then when my husband tried to put a diaper on her for bedtime, she threw it at him and hollered that diapers are for babies. She is nowhere near ready to be diaper free overnight, so instead we compromised--if she let Daddy put the diaper on, she could get rid of the pacifiers, which are also for babies. Score!
Since that day, she had abandoned the toddler potty for the regular toilet (yay!), and can go, wipe herself well, get her pants back on and wash her hands completely unassisted.
So we're two for two using the "Do Nothing" Method. And trying to figure out what to do with the changing table. The remaining sippy cup is still in the kitchen, but I think I'm going to throw it out tomorrow.
After five years and two months of changing diapers, we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. And unlike a friend who says she was a little sad when her youngest potty trained, because it meant he wasn't a baby anymore, I'm not the slightest bit sad.
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2 comments:
I'm sending Nick to your house!!! There's something about 18 months that makes kids want to use the potty and something about being 2 that makes them say no way again. Both of mine were totally gung ho about it at 18 months and then just when I thought they were really going to get rid of the diapers they said ha ha just kidding mom, and wore them for another year. Nick is still wearing them but he's not quite two and a half yet. Maybe I'll tell him that when we hit 2010 he has to be diaper free or that Santa is going to take his diapers and bring him underwear for Christmas. He can do it when he chooses, he used the potty this morning when he got up but he just chooses not to most of the time. I'm so jealous that Maureen was so easy for you. I'm going to try your deadline method.
You are so lucky! I'm having the potty issues here too. Kylie is just 2 and a half, so I'm not stressing, but still...90% of the time, if you put her on the potty, she will go. I've even managed to catch her when she's trying to poop and gotten her to poop on the potty. BUT...she WILL NOT tell me on her own that she has to go. I don't know if she doesn't recognize the signals yet, or if she just doesn't care, but that's where we are. We've had several days, where I've been really on top of things, and between daycare and home, she's been dry all day. But as soon as we try underwear, she ends up peeing in them! I don't know what to do besides wait it out. Gabe pretty much potty trained on his own, once he was ready. We'll see. If she gets to 3 and we're still not there, then maybe I'll push the issue a little more. That's still 6 months away, and a lot can happen in 6 months! I hope!
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