Sometimes GREAT things really are wrapped up in UGLY packages!

Recently my husband resigned from his job. He had worked for this company for six years and was a very dedicated employee. He believed in what he did and when a challenge presented itself, he met it head on. As the years progressed, he was met with more and more challenges as the job became more and more difficult and demanding of his time. Just as the old saying goes, “hHow do you cook a frog?...You put him in the pot with the cold water and slowly turn up the heat and he won’t realize it.” We were the proverbial frog.

I sat and watched my husband literally disappear before my very eyes. The stress of the job combined with his “non quitter” attitude slowly but surely cooked us all. Before we knew it the job that claimed to only have 30% travel soon turned into 80% travel. “80% travel” basically meant that he was pretty much only home to sleep. It was hard for me at first but just like that frog…I adjusted. Before I knew it, I had developed for myself a pretty impressive routine. I enlisted my 3 children in the duties around the house and found that they actually took pride in helping out and lending a hand. The older 2 kids loved to set up the silverware rack from the clean dishwasher on the counter over the silverware drawer and teach their little sister, who is 3 years old, how to match up the silverware to put it in it’s proper place. Who knew?! I found that if I simply kept my children busy inside the house by playing games with them and doing crafts that it was much easier than allowing them to join the gang of neighborhood kids who stalk the neighborhood and eventually end up in bickering quarrels in which case I would promptly offer them all a Popsicle! Popsicles that I bought on sale for a dollar a box when our local grocer offers that special deal only a few times a year…I stock up on them for such the occasion! I guess what I am trying to say is that I had this house in tip top shape and kept up on all the grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, and anything else that needed to be done. As long as I was able to talk to my husband on the phone each day and the paycheck kept getting deposited into our checking account, things were okay.

I say “okay” because we were not thriving. We were surviving. If at any point I had gotten sick, we would have gone under. I was keeping things together by the skin of my teeth. In many ways we felt trapped by this job. But, I mean seriously, who quits a good paying job in THIS economy?

I won’t go into all the boring details of the office bully and the politics of the matter but last week my husband had enough of this rat race. We realized we were barely operating like a “family” anymore (or at least not our personal definition of family) with as much as he was gone and the stress upon him and myself to ‘keep things running’ not to mention the children who desperately missed their father. A situation presented itself and it basically helped us to STOP for a moment and see things for what they really were.

And the things we saw were just that…things. A very nice home, a new vehicle, pictures of a cruise that we went on in March, well dressed children, and basically every material possession that we could ever want. Another thing we saw was a picture on the wall of a family. A family that had a Dad/Husband, Mom/Wife, and three precious little kids. It was a picture that hung on the wall in our living room but rarely did those five people sit in that living room together…all at once.

Don’t get me wrong, we were not rich and nor was our family falling apart. Neither is true. But what was true is that we were not living the life that we envisioned ourselves living when we walked down the isle almost 10 years ago. Albeit those grandiose dreams were somewhat fantasized, I mean who’s aren’t right?, this was not the life I dreamed of! When I would dream about our future and how we wanted to live our lives, what our purposes would be, how many kids we wanted to have and how we’d raise them…I never saw me at home alone with three kids struggling through everyday lonely and going to bed alone every night!

What were we doing? Living to make money and spend money? No!! Everyone has a purpose here on this Earth and I assure you that mine was not to make money and spend money…I don’t even LIKE shopping!

My husband made a drastic, daring, and even yes balls’y move last Friday to resign from a lucrative position in his company. To basically kiss his paycheck goodbye. We knew what we were doing when we agreed to do it. Yes, we have some money in the bank; we are not complete fools. But we decided to take our lives back! No more living like a stressed out single mother for me. No more living in hotels and being lonely for him. No more wondering when Daddy is coming home or leaving again for our kids. No more are three little letters that when combined make a word and that word is “JOB” going to dictate and determine our lives!

When I married this man, I married him for richer AND for poorer. I love this man and I stand by his side no matter what. We are one. I am more in love with him today than the day we married. I have the utmost respect for him and I support him.

We are now entering a new phase in our journey together. Is it scary? Somewhat. But more than any other emotion, excitement is what I’m feeling. I’m excited to be going back to the basics. We are eating at home whereas before we had gotten used to eating out a lot to support our busy lifestyle. We are catching up on projects around the house, getting to know our neighbors a bit more and just being happy with the simple things in life like each other. This actually has been the biggest stress relief I’ve ever felt to this day in.my.life!

I encourage you to take a look back at your life and see if there are any changes you need to make. No, I don’t believe the whole world needs to quit their job in order to regain balance but for us it was such a huge distraction that kept us continuing on with the rat race of which there seemed to be no end. We are enjoying spending time with our kids, in our garden and finding ways to keep things “simple” again. Don’t let the ‘rat race of life’ rob you of your dreams or your family…it’s not worth it.

Teresa Jonkman is a stay at home mother to 3 children, Logan (7), Kenzie (6) and Gabriella (3). She is married to Chuck and they currently reside in the suburbs of Grand Rapids, Michigan. Teresa’s interests include scrapbooking, photography, and decorating.