Supposedly, every person on earth has a twin somewhere, wandering around living a separate life. Depending on who you talk to, that twin may or may not be evil, and I've known several people who swear they've met their twin.
My twin is definitely of the evil variety, because she does stuff like piss off my friends or get drunk in public and fall down. In college, a friend would occasionally act wounded and hurt, and when I asked what was wrong, he'd say, "Why did you completely ignore me on Tuesday when I said hi to you?" Except that I didn't have class on Tuesday and wasn't even on campus. Or the Teaching Assistant for a lab would smirk and ask how I was feeling. It turned out she saw someone who looked like me getting blitzed at a bar over the weekend and then falling down and ripping her pants, but it was at a bar I'd never even heard of, at a time when I was actually at work.
I haven't heard much about my evil twin lately, but she surfaced again this week. I discovered that someone used my credit card at Michael's to buy all this stuff.
A giant bottle of Elmer's Glue. Yarn. Googley eyes, felt, two packages of colored popsicle sticks, and (OHMIGOD!) pipe cleaners.
Surely it wasn't me who bought all this stuff. I don't do crafts, remember? And as much fun aswe Johnny had making his Valentines, I was relieved that I could cross them off my To-Do list. Crafting on a deadline is stressful, I'll tell you!
Now, I surely won't let all this crafty crap my evil twin left at my house go to waste, so we'll be starting up with Easter crafts soon. But first we need to get through the preschool science project.
What are the chances my evil twin could come over and clean my house and do my grocery shopping (with her credit card, not mine) the next time she feels like causing trouble?
My twin is definitely of the evil variety, because she does stuff like piss off my friends or get drunk in public and fall down. In college, a friend would occasionally act wounded and hurt, and when I asked what was wrong, he'd say, "Why did you completely ignore me on Tuesday when I said hi to you?" Except that I didn't have class on Tuesday and wasn't even on campus. Or the Teaching Assistant for a lab would smirk and ask how I was feeling. It turned out she saw someone who looked like me getting blitzed at a bar over the weekend and then falling down and ripping her pants, but it was at a bar I'd never even heard of, at a time when I was actually at work.
I haven't heard much about my evil twin lately, but she surfaced again this week. I discovered that someone used my credit card at Michael's to buy all this stuff.
A giant bottle of Elmer's Glue. Yarn. Googley eyes, felt, two packages of colored popsicle sticks, and (OHMIGOD!) pipe cleaners.
Surely it wasn't me who bought all this stuff. I don't do crafts, remember? And as much fun as
Now, I surely won't let all this crafty crap my evil twin left at my house go to waste, so we'll be starting up with Easter crafts soon. But first we need to get through the preschool science project.
What are the chances my evil twin could come over and clean my house and do my grocery shopping (with her credit card, not mine) the next time she feels like causing trouble?
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