Sheer Silliness

Last week, Teresa decided to do her post that day in Facebook Third Person Lingo. I have resisted Facebook so far because I heard it's a time suck and the last thing I need in another time suck. Twitter is quite enough, thank you! But Teresa's post was hysterical, so I want to do my own third person post.

Kayris thinks that 'wanker' is the best insult ever. That guy who cut Kayris off in traffic on Wednesday? Total wanker. The idiot who left a screw in the street, where it ended up in Kayris's tire? Absolute wanker. The person who lets their dog crap on the sidewalk and then doesn't pick it up? Supreme wanker. Kayris thinks that maybe wanker is her favorite word ever.

Kayris loves to cook. But she hates to bake. That is why she usually uses box mixes for cake and brownies because they are fast and easy.

Kayris hates The Peanuts. She thinks they are stupid and boring. Her husband thinks it is blasphemy that Kayris hates The Peanuts. But she thinks Charlie Brown is a stuffed shirt and Lucy is a heinous bitch. Lucy is also practicing medicine without a medical license.

Kayris also hates Bob Dylan. She thinks his voice sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard. Her husband also thinks this is blasphemy because he thinks Bob Dylan is awesome.

Despite complaining about his beastliness, Kayris really does love her cat, Jameson. She would also like to get another cat, but her husband won't let her. Kayris thinks her husband may be close to cracking because she said, "Think how cute Maureen and Johnny would be with a kitten!" and he did not immediately say no. But Kayris wonders if she somehow managed to marry a heinous cat hater.

Kayris thinks that maybe her favorite word is heinous instead of wanker.

Kayris thinks she makes cute babies.

Kayris just reread 'Bridget Jones's Diary' for like the tenth time and now she goes around all day in diary mode: Calories 852 (V. good) Number of Pieces of Candy Stolen From Children When Children Not Looking 3 (poor. will develop inner poise and start grapefruit diet tomorrow) number of minutes spent on Twitter 5000 (v bad. must get new hobby)

Kayris thinks that being a grownup is overrated. Kayris laughs at immature things all the time and then remembers that she is 30 and should maybe try to act 30.

Kayris is secretly glad that she works at a place where it is okay to tell a fart joke every once in awhile.

Kayris changes the lyrics of popular songs to make them about her kids.

Kayris is currently obsessed with Pink's new song, "So What."

Kayris thinks it is a riot that Pink calls her ex-husband a tool in the song. She thinks it is even funnier that her ex-husband plays himself in the video. Kayris thinks tool might be a better insult than wanker.

Kayris thinks Teresa may be on to something, because she is cracking herself up typing this blog post.

Kayris requests that all comments to this post be left in the third person.

Kayris says 'bye.'