When he was a newborn baby, he needed me to support his head, answer his cries, and feed him with milk that was unique to him.
When he was old enough to eat rice cereal and mushy peas, he needed me to steer the spoon into his mouth.
When he took his first wobbly steps, he needed me to be close enough to catch him when he fell.
When his little sister was born, he needed me to cuddle him and reassure him that he would always be my baby.
When he learned to use the potty, he didn't want me in the room, but it was fine to wait outside the door, just in case.
When a noise woke him in the middle of the night and he was frightened, it was Mommy that he wanted.
I've spent the past four years being needed in some capacity.
Today, he walked into his school room, grabbed his snack off the table and gave me a backward wave over his shoulder. "Bye, Mom," he said, not even looking at me as he walked away.
At that moment, he didn't need me. And it was a little bit hard to fathom. A little bit hard to swallow. A little bit of a good thing and a little bit of a sad thing.
I spent my two hours of alone time wondering what he was doing, who he was talking to, and if he needed me.
He didn't need me. He was fine. I'll get used to it soon and I'll be fine. And I'm glad there were no tears and no clinging and no anxiety. I'm happy to see him be confident and self assured.
At least he still needed me to hold his hand on the walk home, though.
When he was old enough to eat rice cereal and mushy peas, he needed me to steer the spoon into his mouth.
When he took his first wobbly steps, he needed me to be close enough to catch him when he fell.
When his little sister was born, he needed me to cuddle him and reassure him that he would always be my baby.
When he learned to use the potty, he didn't want me in the room, but it was fine to wait outside the door, just in case.
When a noise woke him in the middle of the night and he was frightened, it was Mommy that he wanted.
I've spent the past four years being needed in some capacity.
Today, he walked into his school room, grabbed his snack off the table and gave me a backward wave over his shoulder. "Bye, Mom," he said, not even looking at me as he walked away.
At that moment, he didn't need me. And it was a little bit hard to fathom. A little bit hard to swallow. A little bit of a good thing and a little bit of a sad thing.
I spent my two hours of alone time wondering what he was doing, who he was talking to, and if he needed me.
He didn't need me. He was fine. I'll get used to it soon and I'll be fine. And I'm glad there were no tears and no clinging and no anxiety. I'm happy to see him be confident and self assured.
At least he still needed me to hold his hand on the walk home, though.
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8 comments:
Now you've done it...made a pregnant woman cry!
I wasn't even sad about Becca loving preschool until reading this! (Okay, I'm still not sad, just sentimental...)
It is hard to watch them grow up so fast!
Aww! He still needs you more than you think.
This brought tears to my eyes! I'm glad he's enjoying pre-school and doesn't "need" you, even though he still does. The alternative would brake your heart too. I'm dreading sending my boys to school in the next couple years.
I can tell you from being on the other end as one of the people receiving the children in that we appreciate how the parents feel. We only want your children to have a fun and caring environment to come into.
Pre.cious! This was beautifully expressed and so lovely. I love that you brought him up to be this little man and it so bittersweet to see it all come to fruition. {{Hugs}} to you today!!
loved this. It is so much what we go through all of our kids' lives.
This is one of the sweetest things I've ever read! You should submit it for publication somewhere.
The good news about being needed is that they will always need you, but for something different as they grow. You'll always be his mom and no one on earth takes our place in their lives.
All of those things are the fruits of your awesome parenting skills in raising a little gentleman who is self assured and confident...Good job Mom!
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