Earlier this week, I took the kids grocery shopping and the checker asked how old my kids are. I responded with, "He'll be four in September and the baby is 17 months old."
She look confused.
"Do you have three kids?"
I look confused too.
"No. Just these two."
All of a sudden, comprehension came over her face. "Ohhhhh...when you say The Baby, you mean this one," she said, as she pointed at Maureen. "When I hear that word, I think of a really little baby."
So exactly when is a baby no longer a baby?
When Johnny was 17 months old, I definitely didn't think of him as a baby anymore. For one thing, he was an accomplished walker. And runner. And climber. And all around disaster-creator. Much as he is now, just shorter. And when he was 18 months, I became pregnant with his sister. He was the Big Brother To Be. And I guess because he was my first, I paid more attention to things like milestones and growth charts and all those things that measure how a child is developing. So I was very keenly aware of how far he had come from that little lump with the floppy head and fuzzy vision.
But Maureen just seems so much smaller to me. She's at the lower end of the growth charts for kids her age. Last Sunday, at church, both of the other kids in the play area with us were so much bigger than she was. One was the same age, the other was 4 months younger. And while Maureen talks wonderfully and feeds herself very neatly with a fork and makes incredibly high block towers (much to her brother's delight, as he gets to bash them down), she's not quite as confident on her feet. She's getting to the running stage in the house, but when we're out and about, she's slower and more cautious and prefers to be holding someone's hand. She has met or exceeded most of her milestones, but now I have an almost four-year-old to compare her to, and the things that he is learning to do are more advanced than the jumping and fine motor skills on her list.
We visited Christine and her kids today and Christine's daughter is about 7 months younger than Maureen. The difference between the two of them is marked. They are both where they should be, developmentally, but while they are similar in size, you could tell from watching them interact that Maureen was the older of the two.
Maybe it's emotional on my part? I look at some of the pictures of her and wonder what happened to that tiny baby we brought home 17 months ago. Perhaps my unwillingness to characterize her as the toddler she really is has something to do with not wanting to let go of my baby girl.
I might be taking the kids to meet their new cousin tomorrow. And maybe once I see an actual baby, perhaps Maureen won't seem so small anymore.
At what point do you consider a child to no longer be a baby?
She look confused.
"Do you have three kids?"
I look confused too.
"No. Just these two."
All of a sudden, comprehension came over her face. "Ohhhhh...when you say The Baby, you mean this one," she said, as she pointed at Maureen. "When I hear that word, I think of a really little baby."
So exactly when is a baby no longer a baby?
When Johnny was 17 months old, I definitely didn't think of him as a baby anymore. For one thing, he was an accomplished walker. And runner. And climber. And all around disaster-creator. Much as he is now, just shorter. And when he was 18 months, I became pregnant with his sister. He was the Big Brother To Be. And I guess because he was my first, I paid more attention to things like milestones and growth charts and all those things that measure how a child is developing. So I was very keenly aware of how far he had come from that little lump with the floppy head and fuzzy vision.
But Maureen just seems so much smaller to me. She's at the lower end of the growth charts for kids her age. Last Sunday, at church, both of the other kids in the play area with us were so much bigger than she was. One was the same age, the other was 4 months younger. And while Maureen talks wonderfully and feeds herself very neatly with a fork and makes incredibly high block towers (much to her brother's delight, as he gets to bash them down), she's not quite as confident on her feet. She's getting to the running stage in the house, but when we're out and about, she's slower and more cautious and prefers to be holding someone's hand. She has met or exceeded most of her milestones, but now I have an almost four-year-old to compare her to, and the things that he is learning to do are more advanced than the jumping and fine motor skills on her list.
We visited Christine and her kids today and Christine's daughter is about 7 months younger than Maureen. The difference between the two of them is marked. They are both where they should be, developmentally, but while they are similar in size, you could tell from watching them interact that Maureen was the older of the two.
Maybe it's emotional on my part? I look at some of the pictures of her and wonder what happened to that tiny baby we brought home 17 months ago. Perhaps my unwillingness to characterize her as the toddler she really is has something to do with not wanting to let go of my baby girl.
I might be taking the kids to meet their new cousin tomorrow. And maybe once I see an actual baby, perhaps Maureen won't seem so small anymore.
At what point do you consider a child to no longer be a baby?
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8 comments:
Me Personally, once a baby hits a year old they are no longer a baby.
~Renae~
One year old.
Oh no, at 16 months my baby girl is most definitely still my BABY girl.
In general, I go with the 1 year rule, too- although it makes me sad. For Trent, I knew he wasn't a baby anymore when he started telling me no, telling me what he wanted to do, etc...
According to my mother, somewhere between 42 and 45, depending. LOL
I don't know. The Howler is 6 and she's still a baby...isn't she?
According to my Mom, I will always be her baby (and I'm the oldest child). I still refer to Nick as the baby even though I don't really consider him to be a baby any more. Though Collin was more advanced by this age, he walked well and said quite a few words, Nick is holding his own. He takes a few tentative steps and says Momma and Dada and Hi when it suits him. Collin talks more than enough for the both of them though. When he became really independant and stopped wanting to be held all the time, that's when I started to consider that my baby is becoming a big boy. He'll be a year old in just a few weeks and I'm constantly marveling at how far he's come in that short period of time. I'm kind of glad that he's not doing things quite as early as his brother. It means I get to hang onto a bit of the baby stuff just a little longer.
Medically, a baby is an "infant" until the age of 2!!!
17 months old is still a baby to me too. My daughter is 3 now, there's no way I can get away with saying she's a baby, not even to her.
I thought of this too...the second and third years are known as "the toddler years." But Johnny had FAR outgrown the label of toddler by the time he was three.
I took the kids to meet the new baby on Saturday. Maureen looks huge next to him and the first thing my brother did was pick up Johnny and ask, "When did you get so big?"
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