Last week, when I posted my menu plan, Erin had a question: "I know Maureen eats really well, does Johnny eat all of that stuff too? Collin almost never eats dinner because he won't eat what we fix. I'm trying very hard not to turn it into a battle but I'm not willing to fix him special meals either. Any tips?"
Johnny was a pretty good eater as a baby, but even then, he had some issues. He didn't like funny textures, for example, and refused to eat fresh bananas or lumpy things like cottage cheese. He had a food allergy and needed to gain weight, so we didn't push the table food too much. Once he turned one, he didn't want jar food anymore, but refused to eat the table food version. In the interest of getting the much needed calories into him, I did fix special meals for awhile. That was partly due to his food allergy, but also because the doctor said he needed to put some pounds on. And that whole thing about kids eating if they're hungry? Not always true.
After awhile though he started to treat me like a short order cook and I got tired of making the food he requested and then tossing it in the trashcan when he refused to eat it. That was the end to special meals, and for the most part, although he is still what I would consider picky, mealtime is much less stressful and I don't worry about his weight or his development.
Here are some things that I found helpful in learning to live with a picky eater.
1) Acknowledge that he has the right to not like certain foods. As an adult, there are a lot of foods that I don't like. In fact, compared to my husband, I'm downright choosy. Mushrooms, bananas, zucchini, fish, beets, pearl onions, pancakes. All foods that I don't like. There are lots more too. So it's not surprising that Johnny has his own preferences. Food preferences are partially genetic, so I'm not surprised that many of my own unfavorite foods are also those that he won't eat.
2) Keep my expectations realistic. Perhaps some preschoolers will eat seaweed, but mine won't. So putting it in front of him and expecting him to not only eat it but like it? Just asking for trouble.
3) Involve him in every aspect of the meal, from shopping for ingredients to cooking it. I quite often ask him while we're shopping, "Should we get green beans or broccoli?" He chooses. When I cook, I let him do any non-dangerous steps, and he's learned his numbers from pushing the buttons on the microwave. He's proud of his accomplishments, and he is more likely to at least try something if he "made" it.
4) Give him a little autonomy. Asking, "Would you like peas or corn with your dinner?" yields surprising results. He usually chooses one and then eats it. I also usually ask what he wants for lunch. Having him feel as if he has a little control over mealtime has gone a long way in avoiding battles. However, be wary of asking vague questions. If you ask, "What do you want for dinner?" you might get, "Cookies!" as an answer.
5) Look at the big picture. Some days, Johnny eats very well; other days it seems like he barely touches anything. The experts recommend looking at your child's diet over the span of a week to get a better view of how much and what they eat. If you're still concerned about your child's growth and development, ask your pediatrician. Some doctors recommend vitamins to fill in the spots in a toddler's bizarre eating habits.
6)If you do cave and make "kid food," make healthier versions. Macaroni and cheese isn't so bad if it's made with real cheese and whole grain pasta.
7) Keep his preferences in mind when planning family meals. I don't make special meals, but I do make sure there is at least one item on the menu that I know he likes. This is usually a steamed vegetable, but he almost always eats chicken well and he likes food with sauce. That way, even if he doesn't eat everything that I have made, I can feel like he's not going to bed hungry.
8) Having a picky kid doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong. The whole Jessica Seinfeld deception controversy really showed that a lot of people think that if you need to hide veggies to get your kids to eat them, you're obviously a bad mother. Clearly, they're wrong. How many times have I served up a healthy and tasty meal, only to hear, "I don't like this!" Some kids are just picky and it doesn't make you a bad mom. Let go of the guilt and ignore those people who brag that their kids eat okra. They're probably lying, anyway.
9) Hang in there. Pickiness is a natural stage and most kids eventually become a little more adventurous. How many adults do you know who eat only chicken nuggets and Kraft macaroni and cheese?
Here are a couple of books I have found useful.
What To Expect The Toddler Years: The feeding and nutrition section of this book has a ton of information on caloric requirements, as well as how many servings of each food group a toddler needs to eat, and examples of what foods fall into which groups. There are also a few kid-friendly recipes.
Child of Mine: Feeding With Love And Good Sense by Ellyn Satter: Not a lot of information on food allergies, but otherwise straight forward and easily understood.
Food Allergies For Dummies by Robert Wood, MD: written by a leading authority in the field, this book has tons of information on making sure your food allergic child still gets proper nutrition.
Anyone else have any tips for Erin?
Johnny was a pretty good eater as a baby, but even then, he had some issues. He didn't like funny textures, for example, and refused to eat fresh bananas or lumpy things like cottage cheese. He had a food allergy and needed to gain weight, so we didn't push the table food too much. Once he turned one, he didn't want jar food anymore, but refused to eat the table food version. In the interest of getting the much needed calories into him, I did fix special meals for awhile. That was partly due to his food allergy, but also because the doctor said he needed to put some pounds on. And that whole thing about kids eating if they're hungry? Not always true.
After awhile though he started to treat me like a short order cook and I got tired of making the food he requested and then tossing it in the trashcan when he refused to eat it. That was the end to special meals, and for the most part, although he is still what I would consider picky, mealtime is much less stressful and I don't worry about his weight or his development.
Here are some things that I found helpful in learning to live with a picky eater.
1) Acknowledge that he has the right to not like certain foods. As an adult, there are a lot of foods that I don't like. In fact, compared to my husband, I'm downright choosy. Mushrooms, bananas, zucchini, fish, beets, pearl onions, pancakes. All foods that I don't like. There are lots more too. So it's not surprising that Johnny has his own preferences. Food preferences are partially genetic, so I'm not surprised that many of my own unfavorite foods are also those that he won't eat.
2) Keep my expectations realistic. Perhaps some preschoolers will eat seaweed, but mine won't. So putting it in front of him and expecting him to not only eat it but like it? Just asking for trouble.
3) Involve him in every aspect of the meal, from shopping for ingredients to cooking it. I quite often ask him while we're shopping, "Should we get green beans or broccoli?" He chooses. When I cook, I let him do any non-dangerous steps, and he's learned his numbers from pushing the buttons on the microwave. He's proud of his accomplishments, and he is more likely to at least try something if he "made" it.
4) Give him a little autonomy. Asking, "Would you like peas or corn with your dinner?" yields surprising results. He usually chooses one and then eats it. I also usually ask what he wants for lunch. Having him feel as if he has a little control over mealtime has gone a long way in avoiding battles. However, be wary of asking vague questions. If you ask, "What do you want for dinner?" you might get, "Cookies!" as an answer.
5) Look at the big picture. Some days, Johnny eats very well; other days it seems like he barely touches anything. The experts recommend looking at your child's diet over the span of a week to get a better view of how much and what they eat. If you're still concerned about your child's growth and development, ask your pediatrician. Some doctors recommend vitamins to fill in the spots in a toddler's bizarre eating habits.
6)If you do cave and make "kid food," make healthier versions. Macaroni and cheese isn't so bad if it's made with real cheese and whole grain pasta.
7) Keep his preferences in mind when planning family meals. I don't make special meals, but I do make sure there is at least one item on the menu that I know he likes. This is usually a steamed vegetable, but he almost always eats chicken well and he likes food with sauce. That way, even if he doesn't eat everything that I have made, I can feel like he's not going to bed hungry.
8) Having a picky kid doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong. The whole Jessica Seinfeld deception controversy really showed that a lot of people think that if you need to hide veggies to get your kids to eat them, you're obviously a bad mother. Clearly, they're wrong. How many times have I served up a healthy and tasty meal, only to hear, "I don't like this!" Some kids are just picky and it doesn't make you a bad mom. Let go of the guilt and ignore those people who brag that their kids eat okra. They're probably lying, anyway.
9) Hang in there. Pickiness is a natural stage and most kids eventually become a little more adventurous. How many adults do you know who eat only chicken nuggets and Kraft macaroni and cheese?
Here are a couple of books I have found useful.
What To Expect The Toddler Years: The feeding and nutrition section of this book has a ton of information on caloric requirements, as well as how many servings of each food group a toddler needs to eat, and examples of what foods fall into which groups. There are also a few kid-friendly recipes.
Child of Mine: Feeding With Love And Good Sense by Ellyn Satter: Not a lot of information on food allergies, but otherwise straight forward and easily understood.
Food Allergies For Dummies by Robert Wood, MD: written by a leading authority in the field, this book has tons of information on making sure your food allergic child still gets proper nutrition.
Anyone else have any tips for Erin?
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7 comments:
#7 "I do make sure there is at least one item on the menu that I know he likes"
This is the one that keeps me sane. My kids are usually pretty good at eating uncooked vegetables (carrots, broccoli...) so, if nothing else, I throw some of those on their plates and it takes almost no effort on my part.
Also - my kids really do not like their food "mixed" or "touching", even my 13 year old. So the other night when I made what was supposed to be a casserole with chicken, salsa, black beans, corn, and rice, topped with cheese, I made each part separately and then carefully gave them rice and corn and chicken (not touching). They ate fine and then I and my husband were able to enjoy the taste of the casserole and my kids ate foods that they liked plain, but I really only cooked one meal.
Our pediatrician said to just be sure to have ONE item in the meal that you know your child will eat. And, if they only eat one portion of each meal...? Fine. Maybe you can rotate from meal to meal from a protein they like, to a veggie, to a fruit, etc....
I was a teenager when I saw my aunt have to make four separate meals for dinner with her family and I VOWED I would never do that. I was horrified. Thankfully I don't have a picky kid, so I haven't had to worry about it. But, I can see how you start to worry when your kid just won't eat. It is such a conundrum!
Here's a link to really yummy, quick mac n' cheese. If you skip the onions it's just as quick to make as the boxed version. I use Dreamfield or whole wheat noodle and 2% milk and cheese.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Great-Mac-and-Cheese/Detail.aspx
Your comment about okra had me laughing out loud. Any parent that boasts that their kid eats okra is surely lying, I mean honestly, okra?
Thanks for the tips! I can't tell you how many nights a week Collin eats nothing but fruit for dinner because that is the only thing he's willing to eat. Occasionally, he'll eat some peas or corn but rarely does he venture out of his comfort zone. One time he actually ate and loved corned beef of all things. The next few times I made it he refused to touch it. I have tried having him help buy and make the food and that does seem to help. He's pretty excited about what he's cooked. Doesn't always eat it, but he's very excited to have cooked it. It's a start....
our pediatrician told us for Trent's age (2), we're doing well if he eats 3 good meals a week- which kind of surprised me! We often ask Trent what he would like to eat for breakfast or lunch. If he asks for something we don't have or don't think he should eat (like tuna for breakfast or a Happy Meal), we'll tell him he can't have that and the reason why (it's all gone, you don't eat tuna for breakfast, or it's not healthy to eat it every day) and then tell him, "Maybe (tomorrow, this weekend, etc). How about (insert food here)". It works surprisingly well! Sometimes he throws a fit and tells us no... but he likes that he has some choice.
i love the book super baby food by ruth yaron. it teaches you how to make your baby food instead of buying (if you have that kind of time, but you can pick and choose how much you're willing to do) and it goes month by month what babies can eat. it also has awesome recipes for every one in it. i haven't even gone through all of it, but it is a great book.
i don't think its strange for a kid to eat okra. mine eat spinach, salmon, mushrooms and tomatoes happily. not really sure why, but i kind of think because i was able to make their food, it wasn't such a shock when they ate the same food as we did. it tasted the same. but that is the only reason i've come up with. what works for my kids, is that if they don't want to eat, i don't force them. but they get nothing else to eat before bed. if they are hungry, they need to finish eating their dinner. many times they will come back and finish. moreso my 4 year old than my 2 year old, but the same rules apply for her. good luck erin!!
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