Pot Mama

This week, I read this piece by a mother who admits to smoking marijuana when she is with her son. "I'm a better mother when I'm stoned," she says.Reactions to her piece range from "Me too," to "Are you out of your freaking mind?" with a lot of opinions in between. One of the biggest arguments seems to be that there are plenty of more harmful things that a parent can be doing while with their kids that are perfectly legal. Drinking alcohol for one, or driving while talking on a cell phone, or taking antidepressants or antianxiety medications. Over and over again, I read debates about how harmful marijuana really is.

Here's something to think about: marijuana is illegal. As long as it remains illegal, she is breaking the law every time she buys it and every time she smokes it. Whether or not it should be illegal is a moot point. As long as it is, she shouldn't be doing it. You don't get to choose which laws you obey and which laws you ignore. There are plenty of laws that I think are unreasonable, the 35mph speed limit on the road approaching my parents neighborhood being one of them, but if I get caught speeding, I still have to go to traffic court and pay my fine. Even if a law isn't enforced, and "everyone is doing it," that doesn't mean that you can ignore it. It's illegal to not pick up pet droppings, and it isn't enforced, at least in this city, but that doesn't mean dog walkers everywhere can leave poop on the ground. How is a society supposed to maintain some semblance of a moral center if citizens just disregard laws that don't suit them?

As for Ms. Wilson, my biggest beef with her choice of dealing with those difficult parenting days is the fact that she went out in public, and then DROVE A CAR under the influence. I'd be just as pissed if she was drinking alcohol or texting on her cell phone, because she's putting innocent lives at risk. What you do in your own home is, to an extent, your business, but if you're going to be operating a motor vehicle, you sure as hell better be in full control of your faculties.

It makes her a better parent. Really? Maybe she thinks that under the influence of the mind altering drug she just used, but I'm very curious to know what others would think if they observed her with her son while she was stoned. I don't know jack about marijuana, and maybe my prejudice comes from never having used it (or wanted to), but the few potheads I have known were not people who I would trust to watch my kids, interested in Legos or not.

Every parent has difficult days. I have, and I blogged about it here. While I may have joked about needing a stiff drink after a hard day with Johnny, I have never actually "needed" a drink. John and I drink alcohol, albeit moderately to conservatively, and I have never imbibed at home alone with the kids. In addition, I would never in a million years have a drink and then get behind the wheel, especially if the kids were in the car with me. The idea of self medicating to deal with the stresses of parenting is one that leaves me feeling disturbed. It's true that medications like antidepressants or antianxiety drugs can have harmful side effects, but depression and anxiety are true medical conditions, and no matter which way you word it, having a bad day isn't.